There are just so many things that are bothering me lately. I just feel like im getting more and more stressed out every day. Stress is normal and this stress is much better then when i felt like everything was going to easy that it freaked me out. Just i need to do alittle venting on tumblr right now so don’t mind me.
I need to be closer to school. This hour and a half commute to school is crazy. I never anticpated it to be so hard on me pscyhologicaly as well as phsycialy. It takes me forever to get to school forever to get back from school. Bus to the train to walking it is like a mission. I want to be invloved with things at school but its not safe to take the bus too late. I want to hang out but i cant because i live too far. I feel so restricted. I love living here, i do and i love the convince of having my own room and beign with awesome family. But lately i am realizing how much work i need to get done and how there are so many obstacles.
I miss theatre. so much. audition in 2 weeks. Im not ready . I will be.
I miss you. You miss me but not as much as i miss you. I wish youd talk to me every mintue of the day. I wish you felt the way my friends think you feel though i know thats not true. I miss you more and more each day. I like seeing you happy it makes me happy. But i hate you being happy because it makes me unhappy.
I'm sick of seeing all these girls on tumblr who want to starve themselves. I have always been super thin and let me tell you I would kill to look healthy to have some meat on me. Everyone is beautiful.
I have seen so much sadness on tumblr. ” I want to be thin” images. Being thin is not all it’s cracked up to be. The stares you get, everyone thinking there Is somthing wrong with you. Never being able to fit a t shirt correctly .
We all are beautiful. We all have problems. Nobody will ever be perfect for society. You need to be perfect for yourself
Society's standards are fucked. If you're reserved and quiet, you're emo. If you're open and expressive, you're attention hungry. If you're a virgin by 16, you're doing something wrong. If you lose it by 16, you're a whore. If you don't compliment yourself, you're begging for compliments. If you do compliment yourself, you're full of yourself. If you're unique, you're weird. If you're "normal," you're boring. It's hard to find yourself in a world so centered around perfection, when in reality imperfection is what defines us.
JESSICA is here. She came to visit me for the weekend. its been pretty amazing. Just having her hear and already know how completely strange i am. reliving all the funny moments. Having someone to watch all these horrible movies and just to have fun. Jessica and i have always had the best friendship where she is just able to get me you know. Anyway. we are looking for a movie to watch so bye.
I remember the first few weeks of school trying to become everyone and anyones friend. Doing the same mistake i did in high school. I have this intense fear of being alone. I really do. I don’t eat alone, i don’t study alone, i dont go anywhere alone. It’s something ive been working really hard to get over. So on Fridays i walk amber to the ferry, and i walk back Alone. It’s nice. Newyork city is seriously the best place in the world to be alone. I know that last sentence made no sense but let me try to explain, you see when you are in nyc you are never ever really alone. I mean you might be alone in teh sense that you arent talking to someone or have someone right next to you, but you are surrounded by people. Most people would find that overwhelming but i don’t. I feel like knowing that i am never alone that i am a little speck in the big scale of the city is beautiful. Because if you think about it the people of new york city is what makes it beautiful. If there were not millions of people in the city at a time then at night there would be no need for all the lights, and the city would be dark.
I dont think this really makes any sense but i tried. My point is ive been enjoying getting to know myself lately. I am realizing a lot of things.
ok it’s time for me to rant once more. The topic for this weeks rant is FACEBOOK PET PEEVES. ommmg i have a lot
1. QUESTION AND ANSWER STATUS THING: OMG!!! whoever started this little tend GO AWAY. I am so annoyed at my entire newsfeed being filled up with ” Q: cuff,smash,or pass” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN! I mean i know what that means but still. Like seriously you need to stop nobody cares.That is what FORMSPRING IS FOR!!! i miss formspring it was entertaining. This question thing is really annoying. It is blowing up my newsfeed. At least the WHY WAS UP? was alittle better. You got to read some intresting facts and see peoples relationships. But this question answer thing is just retarted to the tenth degree.
2. It’s complicated relationship status: WHYYYYY!!!??? just make it ” we are about to break up” becuase 9 out of 10 times whenever anyone changes their status to its complicated they break up. Just saying. Plus its also an excuse for people to cheat like think about it . ” you have a girlfriend/ boyfriend im not talkign to you” ..”well it’s complicated so…” … ” OK ( flirting)” well i mean i wouldent do that but like most people do. It just annoys me that thing .
3. BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH STATUES: OMGGGGG there are only two couples i think this is acceptable for . Melissa and Michael and Amber and Dylan. Other then them NOOOO! They at least know how to do it tastefully but everyone else its SOO ANNOYING. really because they are 14 year olds who have been going out for like 2 weeks and think they are in love . NOOO! nobody wants to see your obnxious love. Nobody cares. You are making everyone be like ugh stop it. Even if they do care they are jealous and making people jealous isn’t nice. Seriously though please stop making satues liek ” I love you so much baby for ever and ever no mattaaa wut dey say!” WTH nooo!!!!!! Oh and ” ( pet-name)<3” ITS OBXIOUS.